Jasmyn

If you look back at my blogs before, you can see how down and out I was before I started this light box. I would have gotten it years ago if I knew it actually worked to eliminate seasonal affective disorder. The light box ix also recommended for shift workers who work at night. I am sitting under it right now as I type. It has a little ionizer that does something with negative ions too. How it works, is I sit under the lights for 30 minutes in the morning, and another 30 minutes in the evening if I think of it. This is, the NatureBright SunTouch Light and Ion Therapy Lamp. It was $109.00 at Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000W8Y7FY

Guess what? My hip is feeling somewhat better. I was able to walk for about 20 minutes last night. It is cold outside but nice out. Snow covered.

Horse and carriage downtown Chicago

This squirrel posed for me in Washington Park

Years ago I read the most amazing book. Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.

It was written by the late philanthropist, W. Clement Stone. I feel like PMA has been infiltrating my life lately, and to quote my hero Martha Stewart, that’s a good thing.

Good things:

The scale is bouncing.
Whenever I get on the scale and it is one number the first time, then another number the second time, it usually means things are going down. Hoodoo voodoo? Might be superstition, but I hope not.

I found a great Chiropractor.
I wish she would have done an adjustment yesterday. But I am glad I went to her first instead of directly to the orthopedic doctor. He’s great, but those guys usually want to do surgery or just send me to a Physical Therapist. My insurance from work will cover 80 percent. My neighbor uses this Chiropractor, and she got her session free today for referring me!

I have been having a great time shopping and cooking today.
My daughter made walnut cheesecake bars. To die for, but I only had a couple of bites

I have had no wine for the last 3 days.
I feel sure this will help me lose weight. I was getting worried that I was becoming addicted to drinking. I was craving it when I got home every night. No problems with not drinking, so I guess I am not an alkie.

The Shangri-La Diet is working for me again after a long stall.
I tweaked the diet a little and I have great appetite suppression. I added sugar water back to the mix, and this is helping me in the morning. I started taking flaxseed oil at night before bed, which I never tried before.
What I am doing:

Morning: light breakfast, usually a banana
Mid-morning: “Tea” made from hot water and 2 - 3 tablespoons of sugar
Noon: Lunch
Mid-afternoon: More hot water and sugar “tea”
Evening: Dinner
Before bed: 2 tablespoons flaxseed oil in a little cup, then I fill the cup with water and slug the whole thing down.

I find I am far less hungry. Appetite suppression has returned!!!!

In honor of Ellen, I did my measurements.
They were exactly the same as in August when I started stalling.Weight - 143
Height - 5 ft. 2 in.
Chest - 38
Waist - 34
Hip - 41

I wonder if all these good things are due to my light box! Is it a panacea effect or is it really working? I guess only time will tell.

I am really excited about Thanksgiving tomorrow. My girlfriend is bringing the stuffing, a pumpkin cake, and the sweet potato and carrot casserole.

I bought a brined turkey from Trader Joe’s. Hope it is good. The guy at the check out counter told me he cooks it by slitting the breast, pushing a whole stick of butter and vegetable broth in, tenting the bird with foil then cooking it. The last hour he takes off the foil and rubs the bird with a stick of butter. I think I will try that, only I will stuff the cavity with lemons and garlic and use a little sage under the breast, between the skin and breast.

Of course, I am still making far too much food. I bought lots of bags and containers to send people home with food.

Autumn is still here but not for long. It is supposed to snow tomorrow.

Rudolph with a rose still blooming.

Very strange to have flowers still blooming in Chicago in late November.  Ahh yes, I always feel like Martha Stewart this time of year. I am happily preparing for Thanksgiving. I am back on the Shangri-La Diet and it seems to be working. I added some sugar water, and started using flaxseed oil instead of extra light olive oil. Tweaking it seems to have made a difference. I barely had any appetite yesterday.

For anyone not familiar with the Shangri La Diet, it is based on eating tasteless calories. I lost 15 pounds really quickly on it when I first started doing it, but have been on a plateau the last few months.

I feel great from using that silly little light box. Whoulda thunk it? My mood has improved tremendously. I know it is working because I still feel good even though the sun has not been out in days.

Sorry, guys. When I saw what I wrote in my last post, I realized I sounded really pathetic. For the past few months, my goal has been positivity. I have consciously been trying to be positive wherever possible. I have come to the realization that it is much more fun for me to bitch about what is wrong. So I make a constant effort to be upbeat. I truly believe that like attracts like. I get back from the universe in equal amounts, what I give. Sometimes what I give isn’t equal to what I get, but it evens itself out eventually. Karma has proven true too many times to ignore it.

I have gone through a metamorphosis of sorts. At one time, I spent time analyzing and talking about problems, but not really trying to change anything. My new out look has been to stay positive. A lot of the skeletons in my closet need to stay there, because sometimes it is just easier to move on than it is to deal with them. I acknowledge the skeletons but I choose to ignore them.

Thank you all for the reflections and cheer. I have a lot to be grateful for. Perhaps I should add my Sister to the skeletons in the closet I choose not to deal with pile. It’s tough, though, because it is a relatively new hurt. I know the best thing I can do for myself is to forgive her.

I do have another sister. We are really close friends. She is the oldest one. She is spending Thanksgiving with “them”. But we will have fun, and life goes on, in spite of our adversities! Thanks for being there for me. You guys are awesome.

That old familiar carb craving thing is going on with me. Do you ever get an insatiable desire for carbs? My inner cave woman is saying “Winter is coming, hurry up and put on some fat so you can make it through.”

It’s also a litte loneliness issue for me. For years, I was the one who hosted all the family holiday dinners. In 2004 my mom passed away. We were a family of three children, all girls. My sister in the middle and I have never gotten along all that well. Sometimes I think she hated me because I took away her baby of the family status. I was cute, smart, and in her face bratty.

After Mom died, my sister decided to cut off all ties with me. She will not speak to me or see me, nor will her two daughters, who both have kids, my great nieces and nephews. It hurts. My son still talks to his cousins. My daughter did for awhile. When she turned 20, she said “Mom, if they could do that to you, I feel like they could do that to me. I don’t want to have anything to do with them either.” Now my daughter does not see my sister’s side of the family. This doesn’t sit well for me. In my idealistic mind, families are forever.

In my mind, you can’t pick and choose your family, you just accept them, flaws, eccentric ehavior, and all. Sadly, not the case with my sister. She felt she could just “divorce me” from the family because she doesn’t like me. The other sad thing is that at the same time, after my mother died in 2004, one of my sister’s two daughters decided she will not ever see her sister again.

On Thanksgiving for the last two years my daughter and I have traveled to California to be with my son. It has been really nice. This year my son didn’t seem too thrilled when I suggested we were coming again. I decided to make Thanksgiving here. It will be nice for sure, I have good friends coming, but no family other than my daughter.

So I’m a little sad. Grieving for Thanksgivings past, when my mother and father were alive, and we had huge, happy family gatherings. Grieving that I am Suzy Homemaker without a husband. I know we will have a lovely time on Thanksgiving with friends. But the holiday season gets me down every year.

Part of it is that being Jewish, we never celebrated Christmas at home. Now I do! I go overboard with the gifts. I love going to Midnight Mass with the bell chorus and candles. But there is still a little twinge of being left out. The mainstream has Christmas and we do not. Chanukah was a pretty minor celebration in our lives. We got gifts, but it wasn’t an important holiday like the High Holidays and Passover. We did not get together with the extended family like we did on the other holidays.

So now you know it. I am a holiday addict. I love having people over and cooking amazing meals. I love the preparation. The cleaning. The whole thing! I am looking forward to later today washing a tablecloth by hand, then starching and ironing it when it dries.

I want that lonely feeling to go away. My irrational mind says to eat something with fat and carbs. Last night I craved waffles. The thing I have to always keep in mind, is that overeating doesn’t make it better. My tummy feels full for a minute, but this type of carb craving does not go away after I eat. It makes me want to eat more and more. As soon as I eat something I am hungry again. I do not get full from eating when it is emotional carb craving.

I have to remember that overeating only works against me. It makes me fat when I want to be healthy and slim.

I’m going to go work out now. I know I will feel better and my rational mind can kick in and say “You’re nuts to eat like that.”

I tried my new light box yesterday for the first time.  I am using it also right now as I type this. I felt pretty good all day yesterday and it was pretty cold and gloomy out. Today promises to be gloomy. It is 8:30 and the sun isn’t out yet. I feel good so far! The light box may be working for the Seasonal Affective Disorder that I am pretty sure I have.  I like the blue lights and that it is small. I don’t know what the ionizer button does. It seems to blow a little air. I once had a hair dryer with an ionizer switch. It didn’t seem to do anything at all.  So far so good with the Sun Touch light box. The URL for where I bought it is in my last post if any of you want one. I do hope it is safer than a tanning bed. Supposedly it has no UV rays at all. Everything I read about tanning beds was not good.  Research has it that the UVA rays from tanning beds are just as bad or wors than UVB rays from natural sunlight.  The clincher was when I went to the tanning spa. I saw a woman who was a regular customer. Her face looked like a road map, and she only seemed to be about 45.

Weight was down this morning AND yesterday morning. Yesterday I was 144. Today I was 143.4.

I had the date from hell yesterday, but that’s another story.

I ordered a light box. The last two days have been sunny. I have felt terriffic.

This morning’s workout: One hour Body Sculpt with Kendell Hogan.

Yesterday’s workout: Walked 2 miles in a leisurely 45 minutes at 3 miles per hour.

The red maples are blazing! What a gorgeous fall we are having, after all, if not a little late.

Another pitch for my new blog, then I promise to stop bugging you about it. http://sandysadventure.blogspot.com/

When my kids were little they would skulk down in the seat every time I went dumpster diving. This reminded me of the good old days, boy was I tempted. Two whole dumpsters filled with pumpkins behind a grocery store!

Great article on walking versus running. http://walking.about.com/od/calorie1/a/calorieswalkrun.htm?nl=1
I am happily running. Trying to  stay positive even though it is gloomy outside and my mood is low. I am going to find a tanning place today to see if that helps.

Yesterday I ran without my Couch to 5k podcast. I have done that a few times now. I was on Week 8 out of 9, but I am just running by myself now.

“”Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly, and forgive quickly.”"… found on my daughter’s MySpace page.

Whoulda thunk that running would be something I like. I feel so good after a run. After last week’s 20 minute run, this week is relatively easy. I walked 5 minutes. Then, the first run was 5 minutes. It seemed ridiculously easy. Then as the workout went on, nothing was at difficult. Then I walked 3 minutes. Then I ran for 8 minutes. Then I walked for 3 minutes. Then ran for 5 minutes. I was supposed to do the five minute cooldown here, but I forgot where I was, and I repeated the 3 minute walk and the 5 minute run. Finally, the 5 minute walking cooldown, sheesh, I was tired but it felt good. I really want to run every day but I am pacing myself to only do this 3 days a week. That way I really look forward to my run, and it doesn’t seem like a chore.

When I was a little girl in gym class I used to dread doing the 500 yard dash or whatever it was we did. I always came in last. I love that the girls these days are so much more athletic than when I was young.

Stats today:
4.2 mph average
3.4 miles
43 minutes

Week 6

Day 1)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Day 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Day 3

• Brisk five-minute warmup walk
• Jog 2-1/4 miles (or 25 minutes) with no walking.
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Hee hee, this basketball hoop that I see on my run still cracks me up.

Body is just as important as mind. 1/3 soul 1/3 physical body 1/3 mind. Maybe.

xoxox

Jas

 I had a marvelous time at the Bar Mitzvah. Saw relatives I haven’t seen in years, some since I was a teenager. My baby cousins Ellen and Linda have gray hair. Everybody says I look like my beloved late mother. I get sad sometimes thinking of how few relatives are left in my parent’s generation. I think of all the things I would have done differently if I had known how short of a time I would get with my mother and father, before they passed away. Now it seems like they were here for only an instant. I miss my mom and dad. Lots of times I have questions, and I think, “I’ll call mom, she’ll know the answer.” I feek very honored and blessed that I was able to spend the last few months of mom’s life with her. What a beautiful lady.

Mom and me, 1979

Mom

I didn’t diet at all over the weekend, in fact for the last week, I have been overdoing it. Does anyone get Seasonal Affective Disorder? It is really kicking in for me right now. Right around the Autumn Equinox each year, it kicks in. I get this sadness, and emptiness. It feels better if I fill that emptiness with food. I want to get back to eating smaller portions. Not sure how I will go about it.