Jasmyn

Yesterday was unseasonably warm and pretty, giving me a little more time before the gray chilly Chicago winter sets in.  I got three miles of walking in. The scale surprised me, it didn’t move up but a pound, bringing me to 145.2. Today I am having lunch with a girlfriend from college. She is bringing her daughter and her two grandchildren!  Since the scale didn’t say I gained a bunch of weight, I have no excuse to say fork it, I am already fat, I may as well pig out. So even though it is a lovely seafood restaurant, I will NOT eat any of the garlicky buttery rolls. I am going to order broiled fish, and a salad.

I guess I do need to congratulate myself. I had a 144 mini-goal, and I have met it. Next goal is 140.

Today I had to sit in an 8-hour defensive driving course, because I got a ticket while I was on supervision for another one. I realized there is something wrong with my hip. Both hips have been bothering me for quite some time, but usually if I have been sitting too long, and then I stretch and am ok. Today I couldn’t sit through the class, had to stand in the back for most of it.

I *did* however go for a run during lunch break. There was a fitness course at the college where the class was, so I did my run in intervals, stopping at the fitness stops and doing the exercises. The run sure didn’t help my hip and now I am wondering it the running is making it worse. I hope I don’t have to stop running.

That’s the sound of me ticked off. I am ticked at myself. I did exercise yesterday. 20 minutes of yoga in the morning. In the evening, a 25 minute run that burned 164 calories (big deal), went 2.4 miles. at 5.8 mph.

I am ticked at myself because I must just be eating too much. This morning I weighed 145.2. The same darn weight I have weighed since August. At 5 ft. 2 that is way too heavy. I think the weight chart puts me at overweight until 130.

Okay, I’m done complaining. On to realizing that tick, tick, tick, is also the sound of the clock ticking off my precious time here on earth. I do love being human. I am really grateful for the good stuff. All in all, I have a fantastic life. Why is it necessary to get so negative and whiny? Well, I guess it isn’t necessary, but it sure feels good to be negative.

But I get a lot farther with being positive. It’s like being negative draws me into a whorl of nothingness. Sure I can get sympathy. But is that what I want? I would much rather be living my life to the fullest, figuring out what the heck my calling is and doing it. I do think it all boils down to one simple thing. Love. Being kind to other people. Hold out a helping hand wherever I can. If I could only control my negative thoughts. Sometimes I think they are like poison. Negativity comes so much easier than positive thinking. So if I know that success comes from a positive attitude, why the heck to I waste time with negativity?

Tick tick tick. That’s the sound of the clock telling me to get ready for work. At a job that is meaningless to me but innocuous and makes money.

Time to get more positive and start doing things I am destined for. I paint. I play guitar and piano. I garden. I design landscapes. I am taking mandolin lessons. These are the things that speak to me. These are my callings. I feel like I should be doing them full time, concentrating on my art. I wish I could be doing my arts full time and not have to worry about money.

I haven’t run at all this week, weather is chilly and rainy! I have to learn how to run in cold weather. I bought two sweat suits today. One is way too cute to wear running, though, it is brown velour. The pants were a “L” and the jacket was an “XL”. It felt good to fit into a L, it’s been a long time. Today I went for an MRI at the, and somehow they had my old weight on file, and I got to correct it by 15 pounds lower. Wow.  The MRI was because I was freaking out to my doctor that I think I have Alzheimers. I forget things, and it scares me. My doctor said the only test was an MRI of the brain, so that is what I did. The reason being is that if I actually do have Alzheimers, apparently there is treatment to slow it down if you catch it early. Wish me luck, I’ll find out tomorrow.

Been craving chocolate like crazy the last two days. I promised myself that on this “diet” I would not deprive myself; if I want something I eat it.  Just try to be smart about it and not binge.  Yesterday I bought myself a mini Toblerone. Yum, and only 125 calories. So far so good. The day before, I had a chocolate toffee bar. Today I am craving chockies again. I wonder if eating sweets causes the craving for them. I have often wondered about that. Sometimes I think it’s better if I never eat sweets, then I usually don’t crave them.  Ahh, wine and chocolate, my two weaknesses. Well, I have another weakness, no calories, though. Younger men.  There, I said it. Just don’t ask me how young. I’m a little aggravated with myself that I am not losing weight the past couple of months. I would love to start Phentermine again, but I can’t afford to be as nutty as it makes me. I get very out of sorts and on edge.   I am still doing the oil, two tablespoons twice a day, and it is suppressing my appetite to some extent. At least I am not gaining weight.  Frustrated! Fooey. I want to be 130 so bad I can taste it.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Today was my 25 minutes straight run. It is the longest I have ever run. That completes Week Six. Week Seven will be 25 minute runs the whole week. No more sissy 10 minute runs. I will miss them, but as soon as I finish my Couch to 5K in a few more weeks, I will mix up my runs.

So, I went 5.5 mph, 25 minutes, 2.24 miles. Not sure if that is exactly right because I had the pedometer on the “walk/run” setting.

Things are good again, with the weight. Down a tad to 144.2. I fixed my leaky bathroom pipe all by myself. That felt good. I was glad I didn’t have to call a plumber.

Made plans for another weekend in Tennessee. I will go November 2 and 3.

I marinated some tofu in soy sauce, sesame oil, red wine, mustard, maple syrup and fresh garlic. Going to bake it, make some red potatoes, fresh asparagus, and a salad.

My daughter just came in with her angel Halloween costume. Well, an angel with black fishnets and boots, that is.

Your downstairs neighbor in your condo calls you and says “There is water all over my bathroom ceiling”, and the first thing you can think of (after thinking about smoking a cigarette) is how good it would feel to go for a run.

I’m feeling a lot better. Weight is back down below 145. This morning it was 144.8, I’ll take that! I am still doing Couch to 5K running. On Week 6, Day 2.  Also trying to do as much stretching before during and after as possible.  It’s getting easier.  Off to go do my yoga, ciao.

Whoulda thunk that running would be something I like. I feel so good after a run. After last week’s 20 minute run, this week is relatively easy. I walked 5 minutes. Then, the first run was 5 minutes. It seemed ridiculously easy. Then as the workout went on, nothing was at difficult. Then I walked 3 minutes. Then I ran for 8 minutes. Then I walked for 3 minutes. Then ran for 5 minutes. I was supposed to do the five minute cooldown here, but I forgot where I was, and I repeated the 3 minute walk and the 5 minute run. Finally, the 5 minute walking cooldown, sheesh, I was tired but it felt good. I really want to run every day but I am pacing myself to only do this 3 days a week. That way I really look forward to my run, and it doesn’t seem like a chore.

When I was a little girl in gym class I used to dread doing the 500 yard dash or whatever it was we did. I always came in last. I love that the girls these days are so much more athletic than when I was young.

Stats today:
4.2 mph average
3.4 miles
43 minutes

Week 6

Day 1)

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 3/4 mile (or 8 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Day 2

Brisk five-minute warmup walk, then:

• Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)
• Walk 1/4 mile (or 3 minutes)
• Jog 1 mile (or 10 minutes)
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Day 3

• Brisk five-minute warmup walk
• Jog 2-1/4 miles (or 25 minutes) with no walking.
• Walk 1/2 mile (or 5 minutes) - cooldown

Hee hee, this basketball hoop that I see on my run still cracks me up.

Body is just as important as mind. 1/3 soul 1/3 physical body 1/3 mind. Maybe.

xoxox

Jas

 I had a marvelous time at the Bar Mitzvah. Saw relatives I haven’t seen in years, some since I was a teenager. My baby cousins Ellen and Linda have gray hair. Everybody says I look like my beloved late mother. I get sad sometimes thinking of how few relatives are left in my parent’s generation. I think of all the things I would have done differently if I had known how short of a time I would get with my mother and father, before they passed away. Now it seems like they were here for only an instant. I miss my mom and dad. Lots of times I have questions, and I think, “I’ll call mom, she’ll know the answer.” I feek very honored and blessed that I was able to spend the last few months of mom’s life with her. What a beautiful lady.

Mom and me, 1979

Mom

I didn’t diet at all over the weekend, in fact for the last week, I have been overdoing it. Does anyone get Seasonal Affective Disorder? It is really kicking in for me right now. Right around the Autumn Equinox each year, it kicks in. I get this sadness, and emptiness. It feels better if I fill that emptiness with food. I want to get back to eating smaller portions. Not sure how I will go about it.