Jasmyn

The scale is royally pissing me off. Last night I gave up my beloved glass of wine. Drinking wine is my dieting downfall.

This week I had company over for dinner, and I drank at least half a bottle of a lovely Merlot. Not a bad thing in itself, but I wasn’t really hungry. I had even thought about skipping dinner, but I didn’t. I made chicken breast marinated in fresh lemon and oregano, rock salt and pepper. I also made new potatoes sprinkled with parsley. I had a very small amount of the potatoes and ate one half of a chicken breast. I wasn’t really hungry.

BUT, I got so sloshed, that after dinner I mindlessly found Amy’s bag of Trader Joe’s multi-grain pita chips with sesame seeds. I ate the whole darn bag! Something like 600 calories. Geez. That bag had been staring me in the face all week, no problem.

I think drinking stimulates my appetite. I love my glass of wine with dinner. I love to drink while cooking. But, if I want to lose weight, I guess I have to give up drinking. I feel very resentful of this. I don’t want to give up my wine.

I know this thinking is dangerous. This kind of thinking has had me throwing in the towel and eating whatever I want. Which was fine 20 years ago when I didn’t have a weight problem.

I am angry about having to diet. I want to be able to eat and drink whatever I want.

But I want to be thin more than I want to eat whatever I want. I just have to remember that. I want to be thin. And I will do whatever it takes to get there. Yeah, that’s right, damn it.