Jasmyn

Still loving it. I am on Week Four of the Couch to 5k running plan. Still not losing weight, but I think that will come eventually.  The important thing is improving my fitness level. This week I ran 5 minutes straight. It still doesn’t sound like much to me, but it still isn’t easy. By the end of the 12 weeks I will be running 5k, or 3 miles straight.

I lost my second pedometer this week.  I hope someone finds this one — I put my phone number on it this time.

Today I have to go to Dumb Driver School. Ugh!!!! 8 hours of torture.  What should I reward myself with enduring that?

Feeling bummed out about the pigs.

Let me preface this with “This has absolutely nothing to do with dieting.”

Not sure if I ever related this story. I was meeting guys on this website for farmers. I figured since I love gardening and landscaping and would love to have a place in the country, this might bea great place to look. And it was. I truly met some amazing guys.

But one really upset me. I had been planning on taking a trip to his big farm. Or should I say factory farm, now that I know what he does. I have been so upset about this that I decided never to eat bacon again.

This man was very very sweet, and quite intelligent. He was a widower with lots of acreage and lovely children and a few grandkids. He go me all excited to go ride on the combine. I assume it is used to harvest corn. But what the heck do I know about farming?

The clincher was, he started telling me about the pigs. First of all, they are raised indoors. Why, I asked? The reason is so they don’t get sunburned. “Ok, well what about exercise, I asked? Well, that was another thing. On nice spring days, the piggies get a whiff of the spring air, get all excited, and start running around the poles in the barn. This is the part that killed me. He told me that some of the pigs have heart attacks, and die. I asked him if maybe that was from lack of exercise. He said, yes, it might well be. I was so sad after that. I looked up on line how piggies are raised. It broke my heart. They never go outside. The mamas are in cages so tiny that they can’t even turn around. That is so they don’t squish the babies that are in the next cage over, all by themselves. All these animals are in wire cages without any hay at all. The manure drops to the pool underneath, and acording to my farmer friend, the poop and pee lagoon is cleaned out a couple of times a year. Imagine the stench, not to mention the respiratory problems. My heart is shattered, and I am sad.

I do buy free range eggs. But how far can I go? I don’t want to eat anything that has not been humanely raised. But maybe we are all putting blinders on; the deaths are not humane, either. I won’t go into detail here because it upsets me so. I love the taste of bacon, ribs, and pork chops. But I can never eat them again. I’m sad.

I am understanding how this walking thing gets addictive. When I finished walking yesterday (I ran out of time and only got 2 miles in) I wanted to walk some more.
Thoughts while I was walking yesterday. We are all connected. But so far apart. Universal spirits. Spiritual beings. Looking up at the verdant canopy of leaves, hearing the rushing sound of rain about to come. Not one but two people stopped to talk to me. I am in running clothes with ipod headphones. The first guy was older, he asked me if I needed a ride. The second one was a young guy who was obviously concerned. I was standing by my car with the trunk open and he asked me if I needed help.

Down two tenths of a pound to 145.4.  I Guess the no drinking rule is helping the weight loss.

Things to be happy for today:

(And if you are listening up there I know I am supposed to be atoning for my sins today, sorry, but I am happy)

1. I am running, I really am! I ran 3 minutes And it felt good!
2. My weight is going down

This is a cool little gadgt available in iGoogle! It shows a moving average, so you can weigh every day.

I did NOT drink last night, and I really missed it.

I’m happy that running is getting easier. Today was the first time I ran for 3 minutes straight. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I am happy. This week’s run is

• 5 minutes brisk walk
• 3 minutes running
• 3 minutes walking
• 90 seconds running
• 90 seconds walking
• 3 minutes running
• 3 minutes walking
• 90 seconds running
• 90 seconds walking
• 5 minutes easy walking

It is getting easier! Today I was able to sneak home for an hour, so I got to take a shower after my run. Much better
Total for the day: 2.5 miles

The scale is royally pissing me off. Last night I gave up my beloved glass of wine. Drinking wine is my dieting downfall.

This week I had company over for dinner, and I drank at least half a bottle of a lovely Merlot. Not a bad thing in itself, but I wasn’t really hungry. I had even thought about skipping dinner, but I didn’t. I made chicken breast marinated in fresh lemon and oregano, rock salt and pepper. I also made new potatoes sprinkled with parsley. I had a very small amount of the potatoes and ate one half of a chicken breast. I wasn’t really hungry.

BUT, I got so sloshed, that after dinner I mindlessly found Amy’s bag of Trader Joe’s multi-grain pita chips with sesame seeds. I ate the whole darn bag! Something like 600 calories. Geez. That bag had been staring me in the face all week, no problem.

I think drinking stimulates my appetite. I love my glass of wine with dinner. I love to drink while cooking. But, if I want to lose weight, I guess I have to give up drinking. I feel very resentful of this. I don’t want to give up my wine.

I know this thinking is dangerous. This kind of thinking has had me throwing in the towel and eating whatever I want. Which was fine 20 years ago when I didn’t have a weight problem.

I am angry about having to diet. I want to be able to eat and drink whatever I want.

But I want to be thin more than I want to eat whatever I want. I just have to remember that. I want to be thin. And I will do whatever it takes to get there. Yeah, that’s right, damn it.

I feel kinda bad that I am not pouring my heart out here. I feel like I should be. It’s kind of like when I paint. I can only paint when I am inspired. It definitely feels like a New Year to me. My private mandolin lessons start on Saturday. I tried the group class, but I didn’t really like the teacher’s style. I am determined to learn bluegrass mandolin, and I found another teacher who I like.

Yesterday I finished Week 2 of the Couch to 5K program. Tomorrow Week 3 starts. I found a way to run when I am working and have some free time. I love walking and running in the woods. I brought a bag with my workout clothes, changed in a Mickey Dees ladies room. I bought a pack of those “Wet Ones” washcloths and a little deodorant. I was pretty sweaty after running but I gave myself 15 minutes to sit around and cool down, so it worked out well. In the past I was just changing my work dress shirt into a tee shirt and that wasn’t working so well - was sweating for hours. Oh by the way, at work I always wear a white dress shirt, a scarf, and a black suit.

Here’s another picture in the green tee shirt. I can hardly believe I was ever that big.

Today was a great day for exercise. I did 30 minutes Performance Sculpt from Comcast’s On Demand. Then I went out for my run, did 2.7 miles combined walking and running.

This weekend was a lost cause, food wise. Last night I just had to eat four of the cupcakes my daughter made. Besides that, I ate healthy, but the quantities were pretty big, because I didn’t take my oil.

Fairly boring but productive weekend. I scanned and posted a lot of old pictures on my Flickr account like this one of me and my two friends when I was around 4.

I’m so chuffed! The scale appears to be going down again after a few weeks of going up up up. 145.8 this morning makes me really happy. I guess the oatmeal in the morning is working. I am starting to notice the days getting shorter. I’m one of the few people I know that hates autumn. I love summer, the hotter the better. I get sad at summer’s end.

Past month - 8/13 - 9/13

Weight Change Stats
Minimum Weight: 144.6 lb Maximum Weight: 148.2 lb
Beginning Weight: 147.6 lb Ending Weight: 145.8 lb
Average Weight: 146.11 lb Average Weekly Change: -0.45 lb

Yesterday was a good day - walked a brisk 2 1/2 miles. The only thing I am not pleased with is that I have not done a run yet this week for my Couch to 5K program. I am supposed to be doing it 3 days a week. Still amazed at how a little oatmeal in the morning can help me lose weight !?!?

Although I still think oatmeal is something for horses, I guess it is working. Or the scale is off. Scale was down two pounds today to 146. Yesterday morning I tried eating oatmeal nose clipped. I had amazing appetite suppression. By the time I took my first dose of ELOO (extra light olive oil) at 11 in the morning I still wasn’t hungry. I skipped lunch, unusual for me. Wasn’t hungry until I got home around 3 pm, and had two bowls of that delicious gazpacho, and finished up the fruit compote. Cooked canteloupe is delish! Whoulda thunk it? I put it in the compote for color, and it tastes very exotic and perfumey.

Compote:
2 new fall apples
1/2 canteloupe
1 pear
1 teaspoon organic sugar
Cook all in a little water for 5 minutes
About the before and after pictures, I never dieted in my life until 2002.

The before picture was at my son’s college graduation weekend. Hard to believe I could pack on the pounds that quickly. I have never been that big before in my life. I had to buy my clothes for that weekend at Lane Bryant. That was the only time I ever wore plus sized clothes. I remember buying some clothes in a 2X and others Size 18. I kept the Size 18 pants so I can try them on every once in awhile.

The second picture was 3 years ago, in 2004. I started doing Atkins, then Suzanne Somer’s version of low carbing which is more like South Beach. Actually very healthy diet, I really enjoyed Somersizing. Then I started doing Beachbody Power 90 workouts, which I also highly reccomend.

The problem was that I fell off the wagon and got back up to 170 in 2006.
Here’s the chronology:
Normal weight for me is around 130 - 140

THEN

2001 - 140 - Quit smoking
2002 - 185
2003 - 155
2004 - 165 - Mom passed away
2005 - 145
2006 - 160
2007 - 170 to 145

Wow, that helped to see it in writing. I am not “dieting” anymore. Doing the Shangri-La thing, http://sethroberts.net/, which works as an appetite suppressant. Just trying to eat healthy most of the time with occasional pig outs allowed.